If you want to have healthy relationships going forward and a healthier, happier life, then you really need to take a look at your boundaries. Setting strong boundaries and being assertive is a skill that too many people just don’t possess and don’t even know where to start to turn things around.
If you find it difficult or impossible to say no to some people, then you’ll know just how paralysing it can feel. In fact, the default for many people who struggle with asserting their boundaries is; they say yes to everything, often at the detriment of their own self, or well being. This can lead to resentment and passive-aggressive behaviour. The first step to establishing stronger boundaries is to set your limits – what is and isn’t acceptable to you – and stick to your guns at all costs; to do this, you’ll need to establish your physical, emotional, mental and spiritual limits and work out what makes you feel uncomfortable or stressed.
When we do things from a place of guilt or a need to be liked, we often push past our own comfortable limits – we often unconsciously violate our own boundaries in order to be accepted, or avoid discomfort, or allow someone else to impose their own expectations, view or values on us. We will then often get angry if we feel like our efforts aren’t appreciated.
Learning to establish and maintain healthy boundaries isn’t as easy as it may at first seem, but it is some of the most worthwhile ‘work’ you can ever do on your inner self; having clear, strong boundaries hands you back total control over your life and allows you to live a life according to your values and beliefs, without compromise. This coaching is essential if you feel like you’ve lost control over your life and decisions, or find it too difficult to say no to anyone. Short term discomfort will enable you to avoid long-term pain in many areas of your life, especially with family, friendships, or intimate relationships.